SLOWERRr, SLOW DOWnn, BREAKK!!!!, GOT CARR BEHIND YOU!!! CAREFULL!!

those are the words ringining in my head after a drive in the car with my mom, im pretty much sure everyone goes through this. and its more horrigible than imagined!!! xiang went through it, jinn went through it and im sure the whole ke wei went through it ! arghhhhhh WHY CANT MY MOM TRUSTTT MY DRIVVINGGG ITS ONLY MY 2nd tIME DRIVING HER BLUDDYY CARRRRR!!! (actual fact this is my 5th time driving i think?)

dman man so i dulan liao, so i purposely take longer way home all, den went driving i purposely accelerate to see how much my mom screammss! whaahhahaha, need for speed weih, i tell you even in bluddy medan athinahapan 1 road (near medan field) she was saying its so dangerous? mah liew, everywhere oso dangerous la, i sit in front of computer can get electric shock and fry like char kuey teow oso what! mahai!!!!

anyways just realeasing my frustration on my mom when it comes to drivingg! and well, stupid test just over laa!

*rings in my head* COLLINNN STOPP THE CARRR NOWWW!!!!!, SLOWW DOWNN!!!!

tohai malaysian studies

hey guys check this out !!!!! this is wat i did with my classmates during my malaysian studies project.....althought is a bit tohai.....but hope u guys will enjoy it wei~~~~~~


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hrNhIkCsPU

limpeh english iz teh sux

today inside school limpeh call my laubu and she was tell me my england achieve D9 she summore congradulation me say very the keng.i iz very angry at my teacher!idiot in her!why she simply mark my england essay?limpeh write bout gangsterism so hard summore think of so many ways to say no to paikia-ism she bravery-20 gimme D9?wat lah..limpeh also need face wan ok..so lame la my teacher...knn..i really very saddenize by this isu leh...help me plz fellow ke weis..
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Seriously guys,Im awfully upset after learning that I got a D9 for english.This is a serious slap in the face for me,and also an insult to my "intelligence".Basicly I think that I have moderate english,well at least good enough to get a B or C?But a "D"....its devastating you know?Though I might laugh it off with you guys,but im seriously very sadden by this..I seriously don't understand how on earth did I achieve this kind of results.It is not that I have a mild english background,so the only reason I can think of is my teacher.

My ESL teacher,is no doubt a very very good teacher..But,she lacks one thing..which is friendliness.Not only she is hostile towards us,but she also like to pick on us,and make fun of us.I remember once she forced us to eat with her,and she cracked jokes like "U will never marry a smart wife" or sumthing like that and made fun of me in public.Although I do have an open character but sometimes she seriously pushes her luck too far.Another example of her jokes would be "tattoo xiangs face,it'll look better and also attract alot of customers".Im not complaining about this tho,just that im seriously so frustrated with my D gred that I have to rant about this.I wonder if it is really my english,or just another victim of prejudice...

Anal Salute!

The Fart Name List

The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table,and empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions

The Anticipated Fart - This one warns that it is back there waiting for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will notice has farted an Anticipated Fart.

The Back Seat Fart - This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its foul odor will give it away, due to the way air moves around in a car. It is often followed by someone saying, "Who farted in the back seat?"

The Barn Owl Fart - A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barn Owl Fart.

The Bathtub Fart - People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like fart don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water, and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing.

The Biggest Fart in the World Fart - Like the great bald eagle, this fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a room full of people has stopped singing the Star Spangled Banner and sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive. The most diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is it size.Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn machines, and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this one, which is rare even among your most serious farter's.

The Bullet Fart - Its single and most pronounced diagnostic characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a rifle shot. The farter can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common fart foods, such as beans.

The Burning Brakes Fart - A silent fart identified by odor alone. Usually and adult fart, occurring while the adult is driving a car or has a front seat passenger who farts. The Burning Brakes Fart actually does smell a little like burning brakes, and seems to hang around longer than most farts Which gives whoever farted a chance to make a big show of checking to see if the emergency brake has been left on. When he finds it hasn't you know who farted. A common automobile fart.

The Car Door Fart - Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

The Celestial Fart - Not to be confused with the Did An Angel Speak Fart, which is simply any loud fart in church. The Celestial Fart is soft and delicate, surprising in a boy or an adult. It is probably the most shy of all farts and might be compared with the wood thrush, a very shy bird. It does not have the sly or cunning sound of the Whisper Fart. It is just a very small clear fart with no odor at all. Very rare.

The Chinese Firecracker Fart - This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number, and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over, it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

The Command Fart - This fart differs from the Anticipated Fart in that it can be held for long periods of time waiting for the right moment. Unlike the Anticipated Fart, it is intended to be noticed. Harold Tabor recently held a Command Fart for the whole period in history class and let it go right at the end when the teacher asked if there were any questions.

The Common Fart - This fart needs little description. It is to the world of farts what the house sparrow is to the world of birds. I can see no point in describing this far any further.

The Crowd Fart - The Crowd Fart is distinguished by its very potent odor, strong enough to make quite a few people look around. The trick here is not to identify the fart but the farter. This is almost impossible unless the farter panics, and starts a fit of coughing or starts staring at the ceiling or the sky as though something up there fascinates him. In which case he is the one. Very common.

The Cushioned Fart - A concealed fart, sometimes successful. The farter is usually on the fat side, sometimes a girl. They will squirm and push their butt way down into the cushions of a sofa or over-stuffed chair and ease-out a fart very carefully without moving then or for some time after. Some odor may escape, but usually not much. Common with some people.

The Did An Angel Speak Fart - This is any loud fart in church. This fart was first called to my attention by my father. He probably read about it somewhere. For fart watchers who go to church, this is a good one to watch for as this is the only place it can be found.

The Dud Fart - The Dud Fart is not really a fart at all. It's a fart that fails. For this reason it is strictly a group one identification fart, because there is no real way you can identify a fart that somebody else expected to fart but didn't. It is the most private of all farts. In most cases the farter usually feels a little disappointed.

The Echo Fart - This is a fart that can be wrongly identified. It is not some great loud fart in an empty gym or on the rim of the Grand Canyon. The true Echo Fart is a fart that makes its own echo. It is a two-toned fart, the first tone loud, then a pause, and then the second tone. Like an echo.

The G and L Fart - This is one of the most ordinary and pedestrian of farts, known to everyone. Certainly it is the least gross. If you have not already guessed, G and L stands for Gambled and Lost. One of the most embarrassing of all farts, even when you are alone.

The Ghost Fart - A doubtful fart in most cases, as it is supposed to be identified by odor alone and to occur, for instance, in an empty house. You enter and smell a fart, yet no one is there. People will insist that only a fart could have that odor, but some believe it is just something that happens to smell like a fart.

The Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart - This is strictly an old lady's fart. What happens is that the person manages to hiccough, sneeze, and fart all at the same time. After an old lady farts a Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart she will usually pat her chest and say, "My, oh my," or "Well, well." There is no reason she should not be proud, as this is probably as neat an old person's fart as there is.

The Jerk Fart - The Jerk Fart is a fart by a jerk who smirks, smiles, grins, and points to himself in case you missed it. It is usually a single-noted, off-key, fading away, sort of whistle fart, altogether pitiful, but the jerk will act as if he has just farted the Biggest Fart in the World Fart.

The John Fart - The John Fart is simply any ordinary fart farted on the john. It is naturally a group one identification, with the sound, whatever it was, somewhat muffled. If it is all the person's trip to the john amounted to he will be disappointed for sure. Common as pigeons.

The Lead Fart - The heaviest of all farts. It sounds like a dropped ripe watermelon. Or a falling body in some cases. It is the only fart that goes thud. Except for the odor, which is also very heavy, it could be missed altogether as a fart. What was that, you might think? And never guess.

The Malted Milk Ball Fart - Odor alone is diagnostic and positively identifies this fart. It smells exactly like malted milk balls. No other food works this way. It is rare.

The Oh My God Fart - This is the most awful and dreadful stinking of all farts - a fart that smells like a month-old rotten egg - as the Oh My God Fart. If you should ever encounter it, however, you may first want to say, oh sh*t, which would be understandable.

The Omen Fart - This is the adult version of the Poo-Poo Fart. About the only difference is that the farter will not say anything. He will just look kind of funny and head for the john. This one is easy to spot if you pay attention.

The Organic Fart - Sometimes called the Health Food Nut Fart. The person who farts an Organic Fart may be talking about the healthy food he eats even when he farts. If he is heavily into health foods he may even ask if you noticed how good and pure and healthy his fart smells. It may smell to you like any other fart, but there is no harm in agreeing with him. He is doing what he thinks is best.

The Quiver Fart - A group one identification fart only. When you fart, it quivers. If it tickles, then it is the Tickle Fart. If you have to scratch it, then it is the Scratchass Fart.

The Rambling Phaduka Fart - You must not be fooled by its pretty-sounding name, as this is one of the most frightening of all farts. It is frightening to farter and spectator alike. It has a sound of pain to it. What is most diagnostic about it, however, is its length. It is the longest-lasting fart there is. It will sometimes leave the farter unable to speak. As though he has had the wind knocked out of him. A strong, loud, wavering fart, it goes on for at least fifteen seconds.

The Relief Fart - Sound or odor don't matter on this one. What matters is the tremendous sense of relief that you have finally farted. Some people will even say, "Wow, what a relief." Very common.

The Reluctant Fart - This is probably one of the oldest farts known to man. The Reluctant Fart is a fart that seems to have a mind of its own. It gives the impression that it likes staying where it is. It will come when it is ready, not before. This can take half-a-day in some instances.

The Rusty Gate Fart - The sound of this fart seems almost impossible for a fart. Is is the most dry and squeaky sound a fart can make. The Rusty Gate Fart sounds as if it would have worked a lot easier if it had been oiled. It sounds like a fart that hurts.

The S.B.D. Fart - S.B.D. stands for Silent But Deadly. This is no doubt one of the most common farts that exists. No problem of identification with this one.

The Sandpaper Fart - This one scratches. Otherwise it may not amount to much. You should remember that if you reach back and scratch, it automatically becomes a Scratchass Fart. Common.

The Skillsaw Fart - A truly awesome fart. It vibrates the farter. Really shakes him up. People back away. It sounds like an electric skillsaw ripping through a piece of half-inch plywood. Very impressive. Not too common.

The Sonic Boom Fart - The people who believe in this fart claim it is even bigger than the Biggest Fart In The World Fart. The Sonic Boom Fart is supposed to shake the house and rattle the windows. This is ridiculous. No fart in the world shakes houses and rattles windows. A fart that could do that would put the farter into orbit or blow his crazy head off.

The Splatter Fart - Unfortunately the Splatter Fart exists. It is the wettest of all farts. It probably should not be called a fart at all.

The Stutter Fart - If you think stuttering is funny, this is a very funny fart. It is a fart that can't seem to get going. The sound is best described as pt,pt,pt-pt,pt-pt-pt,pop,pop-pop-pop-POW! It is usually a forced-out fart that gets caught crossways, as they say, and only gets farted after considerable effort.

The Taco Bell Fart - The Taco Bell Fart is far richer and full-bodied than your ordinary Junk Fart and takes longer to build up. Sometimes hours or even a day. But it will get there. And it will hang around after, too. Even on a windy day.

The Teflon Fart - Slips out without a sound and no strain at all. A very good fart in situations where you would rather not fart at all. You can be talking to someone and not miss saying a word. If the wind is right he will never know.

The Thank God I'm Alone Fart - Everyone knows this rotten fart. You look around after you have farted and say, "Thank God I'm alone." Then you get out of there fast!

The Tickle Fart - A group one only and one of the easiest to identify. Usually a slow soft sort of fart. If you like being tickled this is the fart for you!

i am zhee moperrson!

flash back to cny 2005 =]!
when footballers and pastry makers were one..
and guys became sexist =]! so girls couldn't join them! fuck, no offense colin! =] we cool we cool..!
ooh remember the conflicts of suqueen and chrislyn with [her two big friends christobel and ferlyn] =]















chocolate banana and bacardi paste made into a special design=]
my number.. =] 8!






colin quah bang bang's limp six.










keee weiii nesttt.. during the
mr. Ek_17 days but he took no. 16 hahaha
i figured it out J:10 , G:7
10+7 = 17.. well donela sherlock!







makji.. back at the days where everyone was still shy and actually emberassed to fart.. goddamn! don't you just miss those air-pollution free days.






SAMMM!! MAUAHAHAHAH.. when he was actually a ke wei. =]











chrislyn!! and the two big round O's =] represtenting her best friends.. christobel and ferlyn =]!






and finally way back then in ernest house. =] CNY 2004 u guys!!
the CNY we baked cakies=]!



weeee gay moments.from left to right. agu, colin, me, ernest, birdy, lorry, theif=](so jokin) and way at the back is celebrity mak!

around a year afterrr.. i revisited the place where all this memories were made possible.. and made a few of my own..





being drunk for the 2nd time in ernest house =] we all got our reasons..
c ya mate =]

A tribute to the devil.

Do you want to arial some arial! =]
christina's crazy over this shot -_-" calls it the 'Pele" shot. wtf! lol

in the end, w're all going to be YELLOW.. chinese mofos!=]

and finally!

Kai X X X X x x x x foosing some foos =]!




no spoiling the tradition of our blog entries.

I'll add in a tribute to makji's fart =]
enjoy!:D

=]. for better improvements.. please check out http://www.geocities.jp/takasusyachou/fart2/fartsmaster2.html

Ke Wei Member Of The Month...

well in conjunction with all the post regarding birdy khoo, its time to announce that Justin Khoo Wei-Jinn aka Birdy,Wei-Jien,Ke Weiiii,Just-Khoo, and Justin is officially the first ke wei member of the month, this tricky bugger with his Wade Robson dance moves, and his rhyming has proove to be nothing lesss worthy of the title of the MOTHM (member of the month).

Our Captain has lead the team through countless tourines, and overall has been one of the funniest and most happening members in the team. With his signature poses, we can even spot Birdy a mile away sporting his "just khoo" walk, and hands tucked in his back pocket, and some times sporting the very very bright orange prestos, or you'll probally just hear him a mile a wayy!!! with his ever famous "EHHhhhhh MACHAAaaaaaa!" or even the famous rhymes he makes when meeting some one.

Birdy's fart may be silent but not that smeellly as makjisss. (p.s if theres ever a lifetime farting achievement award, it has to be makji)

Here's our captain at Ernest's BBQ last year. Birdy would probally turn himself on by lookin at himself!!!!

Birdy Class Pose

Birdy doing his thang!!


miao~~



Is birdy really gay?anyway like ernest said,it has been comfirmed dat weijinn has a strong fetish for bald guys wif extra large muscles...They make him wet :p

Have you ever seen a bird kiss a chick ?

The caption says it all...Here's our beloved captain,Birdy Khoo kissing the chick..*sorry kev

But then again,Jinn has a fetish for hot bald and muscular guys..This dude seems to fit perfectly into the description..cheeeers !!

So Close Yet So Far....

KwFc in action in the Taylors Tournament on Saturday..



Sports PLanet Subang...


Makjii getting his SPM face on...~!


Suiting and Booting up!


Watchin our rivals.. Alpha Q (Taylors' team)


The LORRY guarding our goal..


Yes... we (Kaki Bangku) were in da finals..
Unfourtunately.. some sexay stranger bearing the number 5 on his back,
decided the silver medal matched our jersy more...
So...(*with Russel Peters Accent*) Just for fun, ...he passed the ball to Faizal.. the Taylor's Captain to bury it pass our LORRY..
Yes... it went pass the LORRY... miracles can happen!


SEE..~! TOLD YA SILVER MATCHED OUR JERSY!


The LORRY driving the Ke wei LORRY... (something tells me im walking to college tmr)


The REAL THANG~!


Celebrity MAk


Xiang... Protecting his nose after Celebrity MAk released his Famous Muffler FARt~!


Different reactions to the deadly gas...


Kiasu Ke wei's Ta-Pao-ing all the Coke we can get...
.. Something tells me.. AH mai's fart's gonna smell of coke..


Just as we headded home..
AH mai decided to fart...... again........
what a suprise...



Ernest trying to hold his breath from the deadly gas...




SOrry guys fer da blunder~!
I won't do it again...... ..i hope

Happy burfday JoLynn Tee De Mello~!

Jolynn's 18th birthday party...




Awesome venue...
(Mum's place) Own by Mr.Tee... yes Jo's Dad..


Swiss Cheese and Sweet Sarah..







Food was damn GoooD...=o) Lamb...Salmon (pronounced "samon").. Sang Har Min...(i know... wut da?? but it was goood~!)
so everyone dug thier face into thier plates...
and for the first time.. Ken didn't chew 150 times on the both sides of his mouth
And our famous "mini cooper".. Sam... Sapu everything like jez come out from
HUTAN~! He was DBKL! ( Dari Buffet Ke Leekessam) It was bang Sam day again.. Tap some bong... Bang some Sam! Gave us the Wooooaaahhyyy look.. Just lacked the red pouch!




Loku Loku FAM~!
Wanted to tell everyone bout the LOKU LOKU joke..
Lucky i stopped her... If not.... Everyone would be Loku-ing her.. ahahaa.
not sure how... but yea..=O)








Pretty Jolynnn~~




Dancing the night away with an awesome DJ all da way frem UK!
ahhaa..
here's the funnay thang..
Jolynn doz not noe Sarv..
so when he came in she was like...hmm.. who's dat? (probably thinking waiters should all be downstairs) anywayz.. Isa intro-ed them and yeah..
everythin was good..
Everyone was on da dance floor man.. Even ppl who only dance when there's a bug on them or there's a gun to thier head ..
Jote was getting in on man..! all the Swiss moves all came out.. even tried to shuffle.. =O) well done Jon!
Ke wei nerst with his China man moves all.. ahhaha.. he's getting better..=O)



Had a group photo in d end with all the ppl that were left..
ahahha look at Sarveen Kandiah behind JOn .. He was standing on a stool..
Doing wut indians do best... blending in with the background~!

... We're getting old..

Sayor is a legal shot!

weijianz!our sayor-ing days are not numbered just yet..I posted a question on sayor in a local foosball forum (www.foosball.com.my) and i got feedbacks by a number of pro players i guess..anyways to those who still dun believe me plz refer here,

funniest ke wei quote?

haha so we went tru lots of shit together and came up with shitloads of crappy terms together,so whats your fav?currently the one that still chuckles me is just khoo wahahaha..not forgetting the fengshui cracker in ernest's house!

Combine your steps.... to the beats of TiesTo..

TiesTo was awesome... here are the pics i promised..
Cheers~!


Joey, putting out fire with his shuffling...


The man himself...


Had to send chee seng to KLIA where his cousin from PD.. (yes.. PORT DICKSON) will pick him...







ahaha.. marxha got caught! .... Budak.. mana IC? ...tak bawa la bang...



This macha amazed me... Fella shuffling on the wheel chair..!

Massive crowd... 15 000..!

Was halftime... time to change and drinnk





Drum Connection was AWESOME.... in my opinion... better than Tiesto..

These two machas were arguing where to stand... ahahha



Yeng-ster..! look at Chee Seng's face.. SPM face wiey...