Kena TRAP!

So after winning a 100 bucks from our maggi video, we were invited for an all expense paid drive down to Penang to make a video about a journey to Penang.

So Kena Trap, which consists of Ah Mai, Johnson, Fendi and I took a road trip up north in a very uncomfortable Hilux..

The trip was a blast.. couldn't stop laughing and eating..

So yeah.. watch the vid and lemmie know whut ya think..

Yall can log on to drive4food.com ta check out other vids and tell us how much better we are... lol.. im kidding..

Search "ramli burger song" in youtube... a group came up with a preteee catchy song which got all of us singin'...

P.S. Credits to Jote who told me bout the competition.. if I win anything, dinner's on me..

Cheers maties!

MMmmmm... Rims..

Yeah..

So AhMai lost again..


Check out his tongue at the end of the vid..



*No illiterates were harmed in the making of this video*

The Chasers - Trojan Horse

i just love em...

Stupid Americans Exposed By My Favourite Bunch Of Comedians.... The Chasers!

Stoopid Americans... Even Ah Mai can answer better... ... I think.

FishFood Baybeh!

THIS.... Ladies And Gentlement...



Is Fish Food...


Now Kevin, being a regular member of the loser's club of gin.. Had to eat it up... without drinking water for 15 minutes...


Yummm....






So...

Here are the pics in chronological order..


This is Kevin, bracing himself and counting the pallets..






Smiles before the feast!





According to Ernest... Fish Food's actually fish guts... So i guess its healthy..






He makes it looks so tasty!











Too many fish, spoil the soup.... i mean.. pallet..
....The Gross-ness starts to kick in...



Sam, Tsong and Jon... Spectators of the night...




VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT~~



Yeah..
Kevin Went home and vomited after 15mins..

Better than greeen sheeeet right?


Moral Of The Story : Recycle Your Fish Guts...

Chap Goh Meh

So we found ripping ah mai's armpit hair like barbarians rather amusing..


Suggestions of messing with hair in the "southern regions" was heavily revoked due to pride issues and rash concerns..


Gin was the ON game lah since then!


So one fine chap goh meh, I wanted to go ta Lake Gardens to see people throw oranges in the pond. Budden i got no transport, mader dun let me use car.. Give me lecture on "anything can happen at night"



Incase some of u are lousy chinese, or happen to be our only indian friends such as Sarveen, Ashwin or Yee Lynn, I'll brief you about Chap Goh Meh..


(I know what you're thinkin.. what happen to the "other race?" ..... Don't worry, they dunno how to read ..)
I'm kidding larh.. Chill la.. ..



Okay larh..
Chinese Kiam Siap la.. Chinese ...Small eyes.. Chinese all Con Man.. Chinese all Along only.. Chinese Drive Lorry... ..

..
.


wait.. that one Indian. Indian alwayz drive lorry..




But CHup.. The "Awas Muatan Panjang" lorry actually mostly driven by Chinese..



Oh yESS..!
And Lorry man that sells oldnewspaper!
HAh!



Eh, Actually ar..
You don't see any indians selling old newspaper!
Hmmz..


When i was typing that
I just notice that the newspaper dood doesn't annouce "old newspaper" in Tamil..



"Sau Kau Po Chi"..!
"Old newspaper"..!
"Paper Lama"..!

Indians must have alot of newspaper in their houses..
Call your indian friend the next time u need newspaper aight?

Lol.. got this from uncyclopedia.com..
Damn da farnie wieh..

It's like wikipedia, but the funny, no brainer version of it..
So i searched Malaysia.. Loadsa funny stuff wieh!



Motto: If it's a Malay problem, it's a national problem; If it's a Chinese problem, it's a racial problem; If it's an Indian problem, it's not a problem.


Lol.. it's full of funny stuff and yet most of em are pretty true..



"Another common state that Malaysians have is denial (no lah, where got?), which incidentally, is a river in Egypt. "


"The timezone of Malaysia is unique because it follows the system of +1/+2 PMT (Predetermined Meeting Time) which is 1 or 2 hours later than PMT. Most foreigners have difficulty adjusting to this new timezone as they tend to show up 1 or 2 hours earlier than the local counterparts"


"The nation is moving forward with a vision towards becoming a developed nation by the year 2020, 3030, 4040, or whatever catchy number."


"Largest City : City Nurhaliza..."



http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Malaysia


ANYWAY...~~~
Back to what i was saying..


Chap Goh Meh happens to coinside with the Chinese Valentine's Day. So i guess in a way, it's celebrated together..



It is also when young desperate unmarried women gather to toss mandarin oranges into the sea, hoping some hot macho dood will come and pick it up la..


This custom actually originated in Penang..
And also..


Pada zaman dahulu, hari Chap Goh Meh was also the only day that unmarried ladies could be seen with their partners.


Quite sad right..?



Can only stay at home and play Guli.. Conkak... Chinese Chest.. =oD



Ok la.. Not that bad after all..


LOL..
Anywayz..

So Ernest calls me up and tells me they're having the throwing thingy at Kiara Park too...


Awesome Possum la!


Single unmarried girls who live close by, your macho dood's on the way!!
So by the time we call here and there..


We reached about 9 something with Malaysian timing and all..
When we got there.. Saw like Aunties and all holding oranges..


NOOOHHHHHH....!!


Wut da heck la..
Came all the way..



Got a closer look at the place and all.. Looked into the small "river like thing" in kiara park.. No more oranges lehh...



Then one old lady was like..
Aiyoooh Leng Chai...

Why come soo late!?! All the Leng Lui go home already waiting by their phones..

I was like.. Ohh Okay.. Aunty, why u holding orange? U oso wanna try ah?

EhehHEhehhhee.... No la.. Don't be sillyy.... Aunty so old already... I'm clearing up la.. we going to tutup already..


Got some oranges in the pool there.. Go try la.. Maybe you'll thank me in 10 years.. You never knoww...


I approached a small inflatable baby pool with some oranges floating with name and numbers all over them..


The rest of da doods came and we gathered around the pound laughing at the various names like NuruL.. and Amirah!! LOL
So yeah.


Suddenly one dood.. i forgot who..... said..
Eh..Everyone pick one orange la then PLay Gin!
Only one winner..
All the losers must call the number on their orange!


Ahahah .. Settle!


So all of us picked the orange with the name that sounded the most seducing and thanked the aunties and ciaOed to Ernests!




The oranges..!

By the way.. Jefferey Took Amira!!


LOL...

And This was Mine!




Janice! Quite seducing wertt....

So yeah..


Rules and stakes were set...

Only one winner, losers will have to call the number on their oranges and flirt with them..
GAME ON!

















Of course I won.. =oD



So everyone had to call the girls from their oranges..

This is our Map of The World, calling his Amira... LOL


I duno what happened to who what how or when.. but just remembered Kevin's conversation..


Unfortunately.. No vids this time ppl..

So i'll elaborate and exaggerate




If im not mistaken, Kevin called Caroline..




and this is vaguely how it went la..



*Ring Ring*




*Ring Ring*





*Ring Ring*




Caroline: Er.. Hellow?

Kevin: Heluuuuuuuu^...

Caroline: Yes?

Kevin: Is this Caroline?

Caroline: Err... Yes.....

Kevin: You went to kiara park just now for the Chap Goh May event right?

Caroline: Umm................................................................................. Yes?

Kevin: I, Kevin Tan of all the thousands in Taman Tun.. Picked Your... Orange. I am the love of your life. We're meant to be.

Caroline: What!??!

Kevin: So when can we go out?

Caroline: Who're you again?

Kevin: The love of your life.

Caroline: How did you get my number?

Kevin: From the orange that the heavens placed in my hands..

Caroline: huh?

Kevin: The orange that will one day unite us together as one.

Caroline: what?

Kevin: The fruit from the garden of eden that'll make every second together feel like eternity...

Caroline: Huh? What?!

Kevin: THE ORANGE THAT YOU THREW IN THE INFLATABLE POOL IN KIARA PARK WITH YOUR NAME AND NUMBER

Caroline: Ohh...... ..... EHehhehehHEheheheh


Kevin: ...Er... So.. How old are you?


Caroline: EHhehehehhe.. er.. Very old la..


Kevin: But love sees no age..


Caroline: Ehehehhe... No la.. You sound really young.. I don't think we're... err.... suitable?


Kevin: Age is mind over matter... If you don't mind... It doesn't matter...


Caroline: eehHEHehh.. u very funny la... Aiyoh.. I shy la..


Kevin: Don't worry.. It's alright...


Caroline: How old are you?


Kevin: I'm 19 this year..


Caroline: Wahh..


Kevin: It's ok.. People say I look old for my age..


Caroline: Ehehehe.. Aiyo.. You sure ar?


Kevin: No worries la..


Caroline: I'm 34 ..


Kevin: WAAAAAAAHH!!! YOU SURE AR?


Caroline: err, ya..


Kevin: WAHHH.. OKAY LAH.. I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT... YOU'RE OLD... I MEAN.. YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR ME..
OKAY THEN..GOOD LUCK FINDING A HUSBAND.. BYE!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Yeah.. SOmething like that lah...
Kevin's a good loser..

He always puts on a show for us when he loses..
Lol




Kevin.. on speaker phone

Apologies to Caroline or anyone who knows Caroline or any of the names on the above...

Any single men/boys who're interested in a nice 34 year old lady, her number's on the orange..

Cheers Maties!

Gin

Okay..

Since Chinese New Year, the word "Gin" has been resurrected in everyone's minds..

Apparently, in our parents' generation, Gin was a popular game amongst children and teens, along with games such as batu seremban, wau, gasing, jom-kejar-ayam, jom-curi-tengok-perempuan-mandi-di-sungai, and many more..

If some of you are wondering what gin is or thinkin about me while the word "Jinn" rings in your head.. u can go to..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gin_rummy



So basically, Gin or Gin Rummy is a card game which we've been playing since Chinese New Year lah...




So instead of gambling with money, kuaci seeds, oranges, girl friends or mothers...

We decided to gamble "dares"



And besides, every Chinese New Year, my mom would tell me stories about some uncle's daughter's son gamble until cannot pay... go to ah long and borrow.. den run here.. steal watch and sell, steal handphone and sell, steal betik from people's house and sell... stuff like that lah..

So anyway...

Gin is a game of many rounds and each round, there's only one winner which is the person who finished all his or her cards... and the other losers who still has cards in their hand, has to add up their points. So basically.. the less points the better...


I'm too lazy to go in depth.. about how the points are counted and all..
So if u really wanna know, ask your mom or dad.. They'll probably start with the "During my time..." stories..


So yeah..
We were bumming one day at my 1st home (Ernest's House), and we decided to play gin..
After teaching everyone how to play..
We discussed the stakes of the game..

So obviously, with ah mai there.. all the stoopid ideas came out lah..
"Shave eye Brow"..... "Lick Armpit"... "Smell Armpit" and so on..



After much discussion and bad gas in the air, we decided.. that the person who reaches 888 points.. would have to shave their armpit..

However, we didn't wanna use Ernest's mom's shaver..
So all we had was Duct Tape..


The councilmen decided that we'll DUCT TAPE one side of the loser's armpit hair till it's bald~!!!So Ladies And Gents..Game on..

After much Kan Cheong-ness and smart game play, the frequent loser of any game we play, yes the illiterate, lost!! Wohooo!


OFF WITH THE ARMPIT HAIR!!





The score at the end of the afternoon..



If yall can't read the names or don't know who's who.. Here's a breif summary..



Shoulder : Ernest Khaw ( Coz he doz a funny shoulder thing when he dances)
Sex Toy : Kevin Tan (Coz he's one)
Birdy : Me, Justin Khoo (Due to my admiration of birds... as in Real Birds)
Zhe: Jeffrey Goh ( Cause on his face is the map of the world...)
Ugly Gu Gu Jiao: Ah Mai ( Need I say more? )

Ohhh... The agonyyyy~~

Before Picture..

And this is when the magic happened..

So yeah..

As you saw, it was really hard to Duct Tape his armpit due to various factors like sweat, excessive hair, bad feng shui, and so on...

Therefore,

the councilmen came up with another game plan..

We folded the duct tape on the hair as described the image below, and YANKED HIS ARMPIT HAIR LIKE THERE"S NO TOMORROW!!!

Yes, I know I can't draw... but i'll give myself a pat on the back for capturing the essence of the hair..

So yeah..

After much plowing, hair was all over the place, and Ah Mai's armpit was starting to get red..

Lol.. Quite the funny lorh..

We left a few strands coz his armpit looked lonely..

This, my friends, is the after picture

Clean eh?

We were like proud fathers..

Cheers Mate!

Nice nipples. =oD

Stay tuned for the next episode of Gin!

The Funny Things People Do..

I have a quiz tmr and i'm surfing the net for the wierdest things.. Reading history, greek mythology and various blogs.. Basically, anything except studying lah..

So Xiang decided to give me this link to the Lowyat forum and man did I have great laugh at the responses towards this dood's problem..
Lolz..
Couldn't help but share it with ya guys..

Here's da link..!
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/438909

Due to many complains of mundaine activity in this site, I decided to redevelop the habit of posting again, since the others wont post anything if I don't..

So yea.. I'll start with small stuff like these again to get back da oL' habit..
And to those loyal kwfc.blogspot readers who have been logging on just ta see da same old posts..

Wait no more..! coz it's that time of the year again where I'll do anything to keep myslf busy to avoid doing my assignments!!

Anywayz... as i was blog surfing.. I found Ashwin's blog, and read his food poisoning experinance...

As I was reading it, I could picture Ashwin 's hand gestures and expressions as if he were telling the story to me..
And my gosh did my mother come out to schold me..

I'll save you the trouble of going ta his site by posting it here..


Joe gets food poisoning, hilarity does not ensue. Sunday, April 1

This is a story worthy of Tucker Max - well, minus the occasional beer, and women but what the heck.It's funny anyway.Last Friday was the third of three consecutive days i had not touched solid food.

Apparently I had been afflicted with some form of food poisoning; hell my feces was white.wall fucking white.whenever I thought or looked at food I had an almost irresistable urge to puke.

Being the young eagerling i am, I bravely (one is reminded of the patriot and men of honour) ventured to college, enduring the intense spasms of pain frequenting in a region somewhere above my crotch.

Anyway, things go fine at college; other than the occasional "fucker, yoo having an or-ga-sem ar?" - yes, Malaysian humor at its best. the first part of the day went by pretty routinely.And then, all of a sudden - right in the equidistant of my class; I get my appetite back.

Now no matter what you might think, securing three days worth of appetite back all in one go, with an empty stomach, right in the middle of your history of art class, is not something to savvy.By the end of the class, my stomach was almost quite clearly reciting the vows in our "Rukun Negara".

I litterally ran to Jeromes car - and took wing to the nearest chinese coffee shop.Considering the look I gave the char kuey tiao man; he took pretty long to bring my "besar besar besar" bowl of lard heaven.

I picked up the chopstics with the elegance of an olympian figure skater - slowly twirled it twice around my fingers and poked it softly into paradise.

At that precise moment my text sound comes on.and guess what-

mom.
"Ashwin.Uncle ***** wants to see you.I'm coming to pick you up now.DO NOT EAT ANYTHING.otherwise he can't do the scope

"now I don't know how many of you people have felt pain before.but I am now cocksure that I know the real bona fide definition.Middle eastern tourture instruments?German gas chambers? Just put a fucking char kuey tiao besar besar besar in front or someone who hasn't eaten in three fucking days, take it away and he'll take you to his leader.

Several hours of laceration later, my uncle, who is by the way a Gastroenthologist, does a sonar and tells me I have some form of food poisoning.He shows me me intestines throbbing in a little tv.I feel like puking.All of a sudden, he starts looking cold sober and takes multiple still shots of my kidney.

This bit of an illumination made my day a whole lot more cheerfull and blithe.

I was born in Singapore.Sarcasm runs in my viens.

He told me that there was something that implied a blockage in my right kidney-Some sort of growth was collecting piss in my right kindey.

Absofuckinglutelyawesome.

Apparently, now I had to undergo a CT scan.

To look at things bullishly, i've always wanted to do a CT, just to feel what it was like.Who doesn't dream of having thier veins pumped with iodine, riding on a bed into a tube more worthy of the War of the Worlds than the actual props used.This is the story of what happened on the CT.

I was required to remove all articles of my clothing, and don those kinky blue hospital robes.Whoever designed it must have been pretty horny.either that or he had a rather coloured perspective in regards to obligatory human decency; the buttons reach just above your ass crack, cleverly revealing as much as your ass possibe; while, well, not hiding anything at all.I got on, and (*tried to) make myself at home.

For some reason, I like the smell of hospitals.Several minutes later the nurse tells me my bladder isn't full enough for the scan to be effective and promptly passes me three full bottles of water, telling me to wait a while patiently, after which she leaves the room - leaving me alone, half naked with a rather big piece of state-of-the-art radiology equipment.I really dont think I need to put in the words 'Big mistake' here.

But I am going to anyway.Big mistake.

Honestly, they should make that thing into some sort of amusement park ride.The startrek noises, the glowing buttons; it's enough to drive any kid crazy.Remember I was hungry.I don't work hungry.The painkillers where not helping.Just as the incommunicable ecstasy of pressing every single button within my reach began ebb away,I notice four valves with various gas labels on them.oxygen, suction, hydrog - holy shit.

I see fucking fumes clouding the fucking hydrogen whatever oxide valve.I was not going to stick around to find out if hydrogen and computed tomography play nice together.To my credit, the painkillers were tampering with my rationale.I jumped out of the bed.But for some reason the front of the hospital robe got caught on the CT bed; thus making me..naked.

At this point I realise there is a five by eight foot window in front of me.With two nurses; wearing tudungs, one of them looked like she dropped something, whatever - they were staring at me.And they weren't staring at my face.

That is the last thing I remember.Apparently when I came too, as the three nurses were trying so hard to tell me in between thier tears of myrth; I had run in the direction of the valves, and banged my head on the "suction" valve.

One even came up to me before I left, shook my hand and told me that I made her day.All in all, it was quite a productive trip; I found out that there was nothing wrong with my kidney after all.

I gained a pack of six extremely good painkillers, and I had the best maggi in a cup I have ever had after all of it was over.Just don't ever talk to me about CT scans.Ever.



And for those of you who wanna get updated with Ashwin's other naked stories, log on to.. http://www.veritaserum2.blogspot.com/


That's all folks!

"My Maggi And I"

So.. This is da vid "Ah Mai and I" have been working on.. It's kinda blur thanks to some illiterate.. But.. Never the less.. I'm hopeful we'll win la..

Had some other great ideas but this was the easiest to shoot.. Other ideas were quite ambitious.. and would take darn long to shoot and all... and knowing the procastinating streak inside of us..

Well.. regardless wether u like it or not.. Do vote for us.. and put good comments.. And if we win... Cheese Crab for all u barbarians..

No no.. Colin not your football team... As in literally barbarians who ta kao for crab...

So yea.. vote.. vote.. vote..

http://www.maggi.com.my/maggi/Salute/templates/Salute_Video.aspx?NRMODE=Published&NRNODEGUID=%7b713E369A-7FED-4E40-AAE8-7C5D7617820B%7d&NRORIGINALURL=%2fsalutesContest%2ffans%2fcomment%2ehtm%3fvideoid%3d140&NRCACHEHINT=Guest&videoid=140

If the link has expired.. try the youtube one...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WesyJXwRarY



Special Thanks to

Ah Xiang - For opening up his humble home for us to use..
Kevin - For getting stupid Giorgio on the chair..
Xiang's Kak - For not lari-ing and crouching under the table and holding the dog on the chair

K.W.F.C. still exist.. why worry! =]

Note how Kev(middle) is Obviously Taller than Jeff A.K.A gohgoh (left)
=]














Honestly, i don't think we are a football team anymore tho.
KWFC has changed drastically..
Instead of being Ke Wei Football Club,

it could be known now as.

Ke Wei Futsal Club to most of us..

Ke Wei Friends Club to those of us who are still hanging together.=] most of us arela.

Ke Wei Fart Club to ahmai and jinn.

Ke Wei Foosball Club to foosers like Kev, Xiang, and Makji.

Ke Wei Family Club to thsoe of us who are attatched so dearly to our family.. Hint hint*Hmmmmm? =]

Ke Wei Fatherlover's club like those members who are secretly into older men.

and thee listtt goess on and on....
so yeah, WHY WORRY =]..
cann chiiill abit?

Sadly, one of our late members who joined last year is leaving us to go to auussieland, where kangarooos only exist and Hot Young White chicks go out without wearing their Bra. Well, its okay now. But as they mature.. sigh.. sag. well u kwno what i mean.

We Will all miss you Neekolas AKA NAaaa AKA Wy Keith

okay, I lied.

We'll beee thiiiiiisss closeee to be Missing you =]
















Naaaaa in his cave man hair days.

ahhhhh......

the familiar site dat stills linger in my head....

as though it was yesterday dat we did dat sort of posing for the camera....

jst have a look at dat picture once more before u continue reading....u'll notice...

weijinn still having his 'cool' centre parting hairstyle...

xiang having countless of hours with us...

ah mai with his coconut hairstyle and an innocent good boyish look...

kevin being shorter than me...(even till today...hahah)

ernest being the same height as me....(but sadly he grew taller while i remain dat level...dengzz...=( ...)

justin mah still hanging out wit us without worrying his 'master' calling him to go wherever the master goes...

roger being in a kewei picture....woaa....dats suprising....( but then again...it was once upon a time...)

all of us hanging out together laughing and talking bout the most nonsense stuffs we could think of....

all of us gathering for our once had Annual KeWei dinner....( i still hope it'll happen again...)

all of us having an enjoyable time for FOOTBALL on saturday mornings...

ahhhhhhhh.... such memorable times like these....

where has all dat went to?

whereeeee.... whereeeeeeee...... WHEREEEEEeee.....??!!

K.W.F.C. Still A Football Team?

To Be Continued..