Chap Goh Meh

So we found ripping ah mai's armpit hair like barbarians rather amusing..


Suggestions of messing with hair in the "southern regions" was heavily revoked due to pride issues and rash concerns..


Gin was the ON game lah since then!


So one fine chap goh meh, I wanted to go ta Lake Gardens to see people throw oranges in the pond. Budden i got no transport, mader dun let me use car.. Give me lecture on "anything can happen at night"



Incase some of u are lousy chinese, or happen to be our only indian friends such as Sarveen, Ashwin or Yee Lynn, I'll brief you about Chap Goh Meh..


(I know what you're thinkin.. what happen to the "other race?" ..... Don't worry, they dunno how to read ..)
I'm kidding larh.. Chill la.. ..



Okay larh..
Chinese Kiam Siap la.. Chinese ...Small eyes.. Chinese all Con Man.. Chinese all Along only.. Chinese Drive Lorry... ..

..
.


wait.. that one Indian. Indian alwayz drive lorry..




But CHup.. The "Awas Muatan Panjang" lorry actually mostly driven by Chinese..



Oh yESS..!
And Lorry man that sells oldnewspaper!
HAh!



Eh, Actually ar..
You don't see any indians selling old newspaper!
Hmmz..


When i was typing that
I just notice that the newspaper dood doesn't annouce "old newspaper" in Tamil..



"Sau Kau Po Chi"..!
"Old newspaper"..!
"Paper Lama"..!

Indians must have alot of newspaper in their houses..
Call your indian friend the next time u need newspaper aight?

Lol.. got this from uncyclopedia.com..
Damn da farnie wieh..

It's like wikipedia, but the funny, no brainer version of it..
So i searched Malaysia.. Loadsa funny stuff wieh!



Motto: If it's a Malay problem, it's a national problem; If it's a Chinese problem, it's a racial problem; If it's an Indian problem, it's not a problem.


Lol.. it's full of funny stuff and yet most of em are pretty true..



"Another common state that Malaysians have is denial (no lah, where got?), which incidentally, is a river in Egypt. "


"The timezone of Malaysia is unique because it follows the system of +1/+2 PMT (Predetermined Meeting Time) which is 1 or 2 hours later than PMT. Most foreigners have difficulty adjusting to this new timezone as they tend to show up 1 or 2 hours earlier than the local counterparts"


"The nation is moving forward with a vision towards becoming a developed nation by the year 2020, 3030, 4040, or whatever catchy number."


"Largest City : City Nurhaliza..."



http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Malaysia


ANYWAY...~~~
Back to what i was saying..


Chap Goh Meh happens to coinside with the Chinese Valentine's Day. So i guess in a way, it's celebrated together..



It is also when young desperate unmarried women gather to toss mandarin oranges into the sea, hoping some hot macho dood will come and pick it up la..


This custom actually originated in Penang..
And also..


Pada zaman dahulu, hari Chap Goh Meh was also the only day that unmarried ladies could be seen with their partners.


Quite sad right..?



Can only stay at home and play Guli.. Conkak... Chinese Chest.. =oD



Ok la.. Not that bad after all..


LOL..
Anywayz..

So Ernest calls me up and tells me they're having the throwing thingy at Kiara Park too...


Awesome Possum la!


Single unmarried girls who live close by, your macho dood's on the way!!
So by the time we call here and there..


We reached about 9 something with Malaysian timing and all..
When we got there.. Saw like Aunties and all holding oranges..


NOOOHHHHHH....!!


Wut da heck la..
Came all the way..



Got a closer look at the place and all.. Looked into the small "river like thing" in kiara park.. No more oranges lehh...



Then one old lady was like..
Aiyoooh Leng Chai...

Why come soo late!?! All the Leng Lui go home already waiting by their phones..

I was like.. Ohh Okay.. Aunty, why u holding orange? U oso wanna try ah?

EhehHEhehhhee.... No la.. Don't be sillyy.... Aunty so old already... I'm clearing up la.. we going to tutup already..


Got some oranges in the pool there.. Go try la.. Maybe you'll thank me in 10 years.. You never knoww...


I approached a small inflatable baby pool with some oranges floating with name and numbers all over them..


The rest of da doods came and we gathered around the pound laughing at the various names like NuruL.. and Amirah!! LOL
So yeah.


Suddenly one dood.. i forgot who..... said..
Eh..Everyone pick one orange la then PLay Gin!
Only one winner..
All the losers must call the number on their orange!


Ahahah .. Settle!


So all of us picked the orange with the name that sounded the most seducing and thanked the aunties and ciaOed to Ernests!




The oranges..!

By the way.. Jefferey Took Amira!!


LOL...

And This was Mine!




Janice! Quite seducing wertt....

So yeah..


Rules and stakes were set...

Only one winner, losers will have to call the number on their oranges and flirt with them..
GAME ON!

















Of course I won.. =oD



So everyone had to call the girls from their oranges..

This is our Map of The World, calling his Amira... LOL


I duno what happened to who what how or when.. but just remembered Kevin's conversation..


Unfortunately.. No vids this time ppl..

So i'll elaborate and exaggerate




If im not mistaken, Kevin called Caroline..




and this is vaguely how it went la..



*Ring Ring*




*Ring Ring*





*Ring Ring*




Caroline: Er.. Hellow?

Kevin: Heluuuuuuuu^...

Caroline: Yes?

Kevin: Is this Caroline?

Caroline: Err... Yes.....

Kevin: You went to kiara park just now for the Chap Goh May event right?

Caroline: Umm................................................................................. Yes?

Kevin: I, Kevin Tan of all the thousands in Taman Tun.. Picked Your... Orange. I am the love of your life. We're meant to be.

Caroline: What!??!

Kevin: So when can we go out?

Caroline: Who're you again?

Kevin: The love of your life.

Caroline: How did you get my number?

Kevin: From the orange that the heavens placed in my hands..

Caroline: huh?

Kevin: The orange that will one day unite us together as one.

Caroline: what?

Kevin: The fruit from the garden of eden that'll make every second together feel like eternity...

Caroline: Huh? What?!

Kevin: THE ORANGE THAT YOU THREW IN THE INFLATABLE POOL IN KIARA PARK WITH YOUR NAME AND NUMBER

Caroline: Ohh...... ..... EHehhehehHEheheheh


Kevin: ...Er... So.. How old are you?


Caroline: EHhehehehhe.. er.. Very old la..


Kevin: But love sees no age..


Caroline: Ehehehhe... No la.. You sound really young.. I don't think we're... err.... suitable?


Kevin: Age is mind over matter... If you don't mind... It doesn't matter...


Caroline: eehHEHehh.. u very funny la... Aiyoh.. I shy la..


Kevin: Don't worry.. It's alright...


Caroline: How old are you?


Kevin: I'm 19 this year..


Caroline: Wahh..


Kevin: It's ok.. People say I look old for my age..


Caroline: Ehehehe.. Aiyo.. You sure ar?


Kevin: No worries la..


Caroline: I'm 34 ..


Kevin: WAAAAAAAHH!!! YOU SURE AR?


Caroline: err, ya..


Kevin: WAHHH.. OKAY LAH.. I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT... YOU'RE OLD... I MEAN.. YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR ME..
OKAY THEN..GOOD LUCK FINDING A HUSBAND.. BYE!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Yeah.. SOmething like that lah...
Kevin's a good loser..

He always puts on a show for us when he loses..
Lol




Kevin.. on speaker phone

Apologies to Caroline or anyone who knows Caroline or any of the names on the above...

Any single men/boys who're interested in a nice 34 year old lady, her number's on the orange..

Cheers Maties!