The Funny Things People Do..

I have a quiz tmr and i'm surfing the net for the wierdest things.. Reading history, greek mythology and various blogs.. Basically, anything except studying lah..

So Xiang decided to give me this link to the Lowyat forum and man did I have great laugh at the responses towards this dood's problem..
Lolz..
Couldn't help but share it with ya guys..

Here's da link..!
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/438909

Due to many complains of mundaine activity in this site, I decided to redevelop the habit of posting again, since the others wont post anything if I don't..

So yea.. I'll start with small stuff like these again to get back da oL' habit..
And to those loyal kwfc.blogspot readers who have been logging on just ta see da same old posts..

Wait no more..! coz it's that time of the year again where I'll do anything to keep myslf busy to avoid doing my assignments!!

Anywayz... as i was blog surfing.. I found Ashwin's blog, and read his food poisoning experinance...

As I was reading it, I could picture Ashwin 's hand gestures and expressions as if he were telling the story to me..
And my gosh did my mother come out to schold me..

I'll save you the trouble of going ta his site by posting it here..


Joe gets food poisoning, hilarity does not ensue. Sunday, April 1

This is a story worthy of Tucker Max - well, minus the occasional beer, and women but what the heck.It's funny anyway.Last Friday was the third of three consecutive days i had not touched solid food.

Apparently I had been afflicted with some form of food poisoning; hell my feces was white.wall fucking white.whenever I thought or looked at food I had an almost irresistable urge to puke.

Being the young eagerling i am, I bravely (one is reminded of the patriot and men of honour) ventured to college, enduring the intense spasms of pain frequenting in a region somewhere above my crotch.

Anyway, things go fine at college; other than the occasional "fucker, yoo having an or-ga-sem ar?" - yes, Malaysian humor at its best. the first part of the day went by pretty routinely.And then, all of a sudden - right in the equidistant of my class; I get my appetite back.

Now no matter what you might think, securing three days worth of appetite back all in one go, with an empty stomach, right in the middle of your history of art class, is not something to savvy.By the end of the class, my stomach was almost quite clearly reciting the vows in our "Rukun Negara".

I litterally ran to Jeromes car - and took wing to the nearest chinese coffee shop.Considering the look I gave the char kuey tiao man; he took pretty long to bring my "besar besar besar" bowl of lard heaven.

I picked up the chopstics with the elegance of an olympian figure skater - slowly twirled it twice around my fingers and poked it softly into paradise.

At that precise moment my text sound comes on.and guess what-

mom.
"Ashwin.Uncle ***** wants to see you.I'm coming to pick you up now.DO NOT EAT ANYTHING.otherwise he can't do the scope

"now I don't know how many of you people have felt pain before.but I am now cocksure that I know the real bona fide definition.Middle eastern tourture instruments?German gas chambers? Just put a fucking char kuey tiao besar besar besar in front or someone who hasn't eaten in three fucking days, take it away and he'll take you to his leader.

Several hours of laceration later, my uncle, who is by the way a Gastroenthologist, does a sonar and tells me I have some form of food poisoning.He shows me me intestines throbbing in a little tv.I feel like puking.All of a sudden, he starts looking cold sober and takes multiple still shots of my kidney.

This bit of an illumination made my day a whole lot more cheerfull and blithe.

I was born in Singapore.Sarcasm runs in my viens.

He told me that there was something that implied a blockage in my right kidney-Some sort of growth was collecting piss in my right kindey.

Absofuckinglutelyawesome.

Apparently, now I had to undergo a CT scan.

To look at things bullishly, i've always wanted to do a CT, just to feel what it was like.Who doesn't dream of having thier veins pumped with iodine, riding on a bed into a tube more worthy of the War of the Worlds than the actual props used.This is the story of what happened on the CT.

I was required to remove all articles of my clothing, and don those kinky blue hospital robes.Whoever designed it must have been pretty horny.either that or he had a rather coloured perspective in regards to obligatory human decency; the buttons reach just above your ass crack, cleverly revealing as much as your ass possibe; while, well, not hiding anything at all.I got on, and (*tried to) make myself at home.

For some reason, I like the smell of hospitals.Several minutes later the nurse tells me my bladder isn't full enough for the scan to be effective and promptly passes me three full bottles of water, telling me to wait a while patiently, after which she leaves the room - leaving me alone, half naked with a rather big piece of state-of-the-art radiology equipment.I really dont think I need to put in the words 'Big mistake' here.

But I am going to anyway.Big mistake.

Honestly, they should make that thing into some sort of amusement park ride.The startrek noises, the glowing buttons; it's enough to drive any kid crazy.Remember I was hungry.I don't work hungry.The painkillers where not helping.Just as the incommunicable ecstasy of pressing every single button within my reach began ebb away,I notice four valves with various gas labels on them.oxygen, suction, hydrog - holy shit.

I see fucking fumes clouding the fucking hydrogen whatever oxide valve.I was not going to stick around to find out if hydrogen and computed tomography play nice together.To my credit, the painkillers were tampering with my rationale.I jumped out of the bed.But for some reason the front of the hospital robe got caught on the CT bed; thus making me..naked.

At this point I realise there is a five by eight foot window in front of me.With two nurses; wearing tudungs, one of them looked like she dropped something, whatever - they were staring at me.And they weren't staring at my face.

That is the last thing I remember.Apparently when I came too, as the three nurses were trying so hard to tell me in between thier tears of myrth; I had run in the direction of the valves, and banged my head on the "suction" valve.

One even came up to me before I left, shook my hand and told me that I made her day.All in all, it was quite a productive trip; I found out that there was nothing wrong with my kidney after all.

I gained a pack of six extremely good painkillers, and I had the best maggi in a cup I have ever had after all of it was over.Just don't ever talk to me about CT scans.Ever.



And for those of you who wanna get updated with Ashwin's other naked stories, log on to.. http://www.veritaserum2.blogspot.com/


That's all folks!